the hand that rocks the cradle

3 wks, 3 days PB.

when this movie came out in the early 90's, rebecca de mornay made one scary ass nanny. it makes you wonder how hollywood comes up with this stuff. the last act of the movie is forever in my head. crazy bitch!

it's 9pm on a saturday night and i'm sitting on the couch with calvin sleeping away next to me. i just finished watching the movie noted above and a thought crossed my mind. HM and i have never seriously discussed hiring a nanny. i'm sure if a situation called for it, we would consider the idea.

as i mentioned in my last post, everything we do now has to be planned with or around the newborn. HM is on her way home from the greek festival with our friends KH/YMK. we make it a tradition to go the festival yearly, but obviously this time around it wasn't so easy for both us to go. toward the end of the week, KH offered bring some of the greek food over to us, but instead i asked if they could take HM out for a few hours. they agreed as long as they got to hang out with cal for a little while.

this past week i went back to work and i'm not going to lie -- it's been one of the toughest weeks ever. my first day back, i only had 2 1/2 hrs of sleep. and since i hadn't done any physical activity in 3 weeks, i decided to run during my lunch break. BIG MISTAKE. after 1pm, my eyes were bloodshoot and i was sweating in my 70 degree office. the rest of the week got a little better for me, but i seriously missed the little guy. i should suggest 3 month paternity leave to my company..... aren't we all about equality?!

unfortunately i can't say HM was as fortunate as i. she had an infection resurface, her milk production was lower than anticipated, and calvin was raising hell during the daytime hours. i would receive texts throughout the day as she counted the hours until i came home. as i walked through the door, she would hand him over to me with a quickness. her disheveled appearance was enough to make me realize that she needed to get out. it didn't help that the weather had been perfect for two weeks (in houston, at least) and she had been inside 98% of the time.

since this blog is supposed to be from a first time father's point of view - here is my Father Tip of the Week (FTW):

-- in the first few weeks of birth, mothers will become attached to the child and never want to leave him/her. i recommend letting mom out for a few hours while you agree to take care of the baby. she can shop, go out with friends, eat, or just simply read a book. whatever a father can do to make a new mom feel whole every now and then will yield some serious return on investment in the long run. stressed mom + stressed baby = bad news for dad.

time to put the kiddo to bed.

- EZE

two weeks notice

15 days PB.

i don't know what it is about hugh grant that makes him such a likeable guy. though this movie isn't his best work, i think it's the english accent that give him the upper hand. one flick that i seem to catch myself watching is notting hill. but really, the only thing that i can truly remember him is for this mug shot while getting caught with this beauty. how could do this to HER, hugh?!! you had it made...

anyways, it's now been two weeks since the arrival of little calvin. i must say that the past fortnight has felt months have past. so much high and low emotions have come and gone in such a short time, it's crazy to explain...but i'll try.

first topic: the birth. i initially thought i would be sickened by the sight of a bloody/slimy baby coming out of my wife. and even though the whole "pushing" process took 45 minutes, everything went by so fast. i didn't even have enough time to be grossed out, let alone think about anything else other than labor coaching HM. by the time calvin arrived - he was wiped down, i yelled out "it's a boy!", i cut the cord, and within seconds he was laying on HM's chest. we looked at each other, then at our creation. i know there were 7 other people talking in the delivery room, but at that moment, we heard and saw nothing but calvin.

second topic: the first night. our excitement turned into frustration within the next 12-16 hrs as calvin made sure that we would get as little sleep as possible within 48 hrs. HM was suprisingly able to get up and walk around already (trooper!), so i'm lucky she was able to assist with his fussiness. i could not help but feel horrible for any single mother that had to endure what we had gone through without someone else.

third topic: ICU visit. after we were discharged two days after delivery, we were so happy to bring calvin home. we had everything as planned. the house was cleaned, the dog was at the kennel, and his crib sheets were crease-free awaiting his arrival. unfortunately, his homecoming was cut short to one night as we had to check him into TCH's ICU unit for high biliruben. the experience was haunting, even for someone like me who is fairly comfortable with hospital terminology and procedure. we had to option to go home (since we live so close), but i told HM i couldn't stand the thought of leaving him overnight. we were prepped to sleep bedside...in very uncomfortable conditions, i should add. fortunately, the nursing staff was able to get us on the list at the ronald mcdonald house at TCH. we spent a very long two days and nights at the hospital waiting for everything to level out. it was great communication time b/w HM and i. if anything, it helped HM and i grow stronger together as a couple and family. as new parents, we couldn't ask for anything more.

fourth topic: finally home. as i mentioned before, the past 14 days have felt like an eternity. when you look at things in perspective, the time is nothing. we know that we're not one of the 'lucky' couples whose baby likes to sleep through the night. in fact, calvin is the opposite. after 10pm, he's a night owl....just like his dad. HM warned me that he would kick in the womb before bedtime.

one of our worries was how our dog would react to the baby. we read horror stories of family pets not getting along with newborns. we were lucky that peanut greated cal with a questionable sniff, but had a happy wagging tail. the late night crying during diaper changes gets him a little spooked at times.

fifth topic: some things i've learned so far...

- though it's been told to me many times before.... NO ONE really teaches you how to be a parent. you just do it. there are books, the internet, friends and family.... but when your baby is wailing at 330am and you don't know why.... you basically try and learn anything and everything you can quiet him (except shaking of course!).

- you learn how to operate with one arm. toting around an infant while doing laundry, brushing your teeth, or typing this blog all becomes second nature.

- you find that late night television and DVR are your best friends.

- calvin likes to poop AFTER you change them.

- pediatricians HAVE to be positive. having to deal with sleep-deprived parents and crying children all day takes a special skill.

- i knew life was going to change.... but u never think about the MINOR things. example - you can't shower or use the restroom without making sure the baby is asleep or someone is watching him.

- patience. its what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

....sorry, got to cut this short - little cal finally fell asleep. and any parent knows: YOU SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS.

- EZE

family man

4 days PB (post birth).
sorry for the lack of updates...obviously there is a lot of stuff going on.

in the last few days, i went from being a happy husband who got little sleep to a proud papa who gets no sleep. i had already been up for 18 hrs before calvin was born and have since averaged less than 3 hrs of intermittent shuteye per night. this was too be expected right?

to be fair and honest, we're still at the hospital. only this time it is not where calvin was delivered, but rather at texas childrens. little cal was admitted less than 24 hrs after he came home due to appearing jaundice and having higher than normal bilirubin. this is fairly common in infants...especially ones with asian heritage.

needless to say, with having to stay at the hospital and going with HM to feed/visit calvin while in his incubator, there seems to be very little time to do much else.... let alone sleep. rather than to go into detail, i'll put it into another picture story (since everyone just wants to see pictures anyway). here is what i call "a series of firsts...." for baby calvin:


first moment outside the womb: after visiting mom's chest briefly, you can see he really wanted to stretch out! weighing in at 6 lbs, 9 oz, HM and i were pleasantly surprised that we produced a good sized kid!


first trip: by wheelchair, then elevator - from delivery room to hospital bedroom. there's no place he's rather be than right next to momma. he and i share the same feeling.


first bath: he hated it, but it was probably more so the fact that it was cold. his full head of hair needed almost a whole bottle of the travel sized shampoo!


first visitor: NT came bearing gifts for baby c less about 6 hrs post birth. being the suave guy that he is, calvin decided to use the 'play it cool' approach. result: she wouldn't let him go. you go, boy!


first visit from grandparents: the M's keep marching! my parents seemed excited to know the bloodlines and family name would continue (though they never really said it). i guess it's pride more than anything. for me, i was just glad to finally meet the little booger.


first kiss goodnight from dad: this was the only time i made close contact with him in the first day because of.......

.....my slight lingering cough. this is the first time calvin slept in my arms. HM snatched this pic of me before she had to feed him in the middle of the night. he was irritated by laying in the crib, so i took the opportunity to get some father/son bonding time. don't clown the mask... it has been used at much needed times in the past.


first gangsta pose: during feeding, baby cal was messing with his head gear. the result is what you see below. he managed to pull down his cap, then fall asleep within a minute. i guess he knew it would provide two useful outcomes: covering his eyes from light...and one darn cute looking picture.


first time home and in his crib: if we are comparing the ratio of his size to the mattress, the kid has one super sized king bed! lucky guy.... i still have to share a full with HM!


first time to pediatrician (the next morning): losing weight as expected for newborns, baby c weighed in a little over 5 lbs. he was starting to lose hydration...


first time being pricked for blood: this was one of many times his blood was drawn. i felt so bad for him when he screamed in pain, though i thought his feet were too cute to pass up on a picture.


first time admitted to the ER: the following image appears scarier than it really is - this is the incubator that little calvin has to stay in (and where he currently is as i type). i'll write a separate blog about the journey we've taken as he received treament here. i know it looks really bad, but i assure you it's not a harsh therapy.


see what i mean? it's almost like he's sunbathing under UV light (which, in truth, he actually is doing). he came prepared and brought his beach sandals and shades!


- EZE

the lion king

the newest addition has arrived....

Welcome Baby Calvin!

born on 9/15/2010 at 12:10pm; 6 lbs 9oz, 18 1/2 inches long

i'm so very proud of HM on her delivery. momma and baby are doing fine. dad is doing ok too (no crying!)...

thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes. we are resting for a bit and will update more later.

we are so happy to be parents!!

- EZE

sleepless in seattle

40 weeks, 3 days. LIVE BLOG (please excuse any typos)



*change of plans*

4:16 am - it looks like baby c/z has plans. after an anticipated delivery date this past sunday, HM and i are now at the hospital. i'm sitting next to her as she squeezes my hand every 4 minutes when the contractions hit. i've never witnessed her in so much physical pain. it is hard for me to watch.

when we watched wall e last night, HM mentioned she started to have weird feelings. at 1130pm, we decided to get ready for bed and a 1/2 hour later she was writhing in pain. she suggested we get ready for bed so we can get some rest. after midnight, she was having contractions close to 10 minutes apart....a surprise to us since she hasn't had any yet.

our scheduled induction tomorrow has now changed into a highly probable labor and delivery today. she is now hooked up with some pain meds and 4cm's dilated. the oncall physician has been notified and now we're waiting. poor HM is tired and sleepy. our little buddy wants out.

time is passing fast, but i'm also holding HM's hand when she calls me over .... more to come soon.



end post.

5:55 am - i'm in the waiting room now as HM receives her epidural. the IV meds that she took made her even more sleepy but at least reduced some of the pain. she still can squeeze the heck out of my hand though!

an english family is in the room with me...husband just walks in to his parents and in laws -- "pretty good sized baby. born at 5:17am. 18 inches, 6 lbs 7 oz.". these people are quite big and tall. maybe his wife is tiny. if my baby comes out bigger than theirs, then maybe there is hope of a future basketball star in the family, eh? oh who am i kidding...

the doctors don't allow family in the room during the epidural process...not sure why. maybe it's cuz crazy husbands would cause trouble. i hope HM is doing ok. only a few more minutes till i can go see her....

end post.

7:43am - back in the room w/HM. epidural is set and the waiting game has begun. we've tried to take a nap for the last hour or so, but both of us are secretly sitting awake in silence. though our minds and and bodies are exhausted, our hearts are pounding with anticipation. who can sleep now?

Dr. D just came in suggested she 'manually breaks the water' to speed up the process. HM agreed to do so and 3 mins later, Dr. D is out the door to handle a c-section. it appears she has 4 of her own patients who checked in last night. HM always told me that the life of an OB-GYN is not one that she could handle. the hours alone are so demanding and the malpractice insurance can be as much as a BMW 7 series.

we had planned to have a relaxing day handling some errands, but i think we are in for a better treat. i could be a dad by my next update!

end post.

9:08am - time to eat.


i've always wondered why the texas medical center (TMC) hospitals have mcdonalds as their main restaurant of choice. sure, it's fast food and easy, but doesn't it somewhat contradict what hospitals are here for -- to prolong life? the obvious choice would be subway. i mean..look at jared fogle for goodness sakes! to be fair, there are other cafe's/restaurants and even some other nice choices for quick eats. but you have to give props to the golden arches for sapping up all the prime retail space. kinda reminds me of the humans in wall e.

speaking of eating, i don't believe i ever mentioned the goal i set for myself at the beginning of this journey. my goal was to be exactly the same weight i was the day we confirmed that HM was pregnant. initial weight: 151lbs. today's weight: 152.5.

i know it doesn't sound like much, but in my eyes i technically still failed. i didn't want to be part of the 'sympathy weight/pains/gains' conversation. oh well, as long as my belly is healthy, right? oops.

......progress has slowed down a bit. i know it's past 9am and we've been here since 230, but it just doesn't seem like it. i will admit, that there is a lot more waiting around than i expected. i know people told me before, but you don't really realize it until it happens in your shoes. when someone says, "man, we were waiting at the hospital for a whole day." -- it doesn't effect me much. i've been here for 7 hrs and i'm restless, cranky, and still avoiding to use the hospital restroom. i'm a little edgy about stuff like that.



still waiting for you baby calvin or zoey.....

end post.

10:20am - HM is around 9cm's dilated. Dr. D is in her 2nd c section for the morning. it looks like we're gonna start pushing this baby out...literally. the nurse informed us that everything is going well. baby's heartrate is good, head down, and it might even be an easier-than-anticipated delivery.

life is about to change in the best way.....

end post.

the postman

40 weeks, 1 day. one day post due.

kevin costner's 1997 film was a disaster to his career. after big roles in the untouchables, bull durham, and field of dreams, he was building a resume of a superstar. then came films like waterworld, postman, and 3000 miles to graceland (nice chops there buddy!). there have been a few movies that were supposed to be 'late comebacks' to resurrect his career, but in my opinion....the guy is pretty much done. that's too bad...cuz i really liked him as frank farmer in the bodyguard.

we met with Dr. D today and she gave us options on what we want to do. HM's situation is favorable to where we have a choice to wait or induce. the benefit to waiting is having the baby naturally and lower c-section percetages. the detriment would be risk of infection which could lead to stillbirth which increases progressively post 41 weeks. given that there really isn't any growth benefit in the womb for the baby now, we opted to wait a few days and plan induce later this week. baby c/z could make an appearance at anytime b/w now and then, but HM doesn't feel like much has changed, so we're not holding our breath.

being the trooper that she is, HM is still going to work a little bit and take a day off later so we can run a few errands to prepare. i guess another benefit to inducing is knowing when we're going to be at the hospital. i secretly wanted the whole 'rush experience' we see in movies, but i also don't want to miss the actual birth. given the choice, i think we're taking the safer bet.

we're going to try to get some good sleep since induction could be as early as 5:30am, but who can sleep during a time like this? i'm already a late sleeper, but now knowing that my child is coming is only going to make my nights much more restless. fortunately, i can't say the same for my lovely wife...

this is a bigger, brighter, and better picture than from a few nights ago... sweet dreams babe!

- EZE

the 40 year old virgin

40 weeks - due date. baby has not arrived yet!

in the movie the 40 year old virgin, steve carell's character is put on the spot to speak about having sex with a woman - something he's never done before at that point. he was hilariously clueless.

during the whole pregnancy process, i've felt clueless about a lot of things. what kind of stroller to buy, what receiving blankets are, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop....just to name a few.

a few months ago, i asked HM about why it's said that pregnancy takes '9 months', but the due date is set at 40 weeks (which would be around 10 months)? this is something i know that i would have never asked unless having go through this experience. anyways - according to the 'pregnancy pinwheel' - which i like to call it - the starting date is considered as the 'first day of a woman's last period'. ok folks, start your thinking hats.... now (see pic below).

sooooo, while conception typically happens around the 2nd - 3rd week, and full term is considered to be at 37 weeks.... it averages around the 36 week/9 month mark? this is the only reasoning i could come up with. oi... this would be so much easier to figure out with one night stands, right?

and so it's been a week since my countdown to due date started and nothing eventful has happened the last 7 days. HM and i have had some quality time together (which i've thoroughly enjoyed), but now we're getting a little restless. to put it simple - WE WANT THE BABY OUT! we have an early appt with Dr. D tomorrow and probably have discussions about inducing. not the ideal, but most likely safer. the good thing about going this route is that we DO know a general time to expect labor/delivery. i'm getting even more antsy as i type. i'm thinking of doing a live blog update while waiting around in the hospital. HM thought it was a neat idea for the 5 of you that are reading. we'll see how it goes.

on a side note, i'm back to training for the houston half marathon in january. i decided that training for a full marathon while having my first newborn probably wasn't going to work out. i also don't know if HM would be working and i'm aiming for her to be there when i cross the finish line if i ever complete the full 26.2 miles. last year when i signed up for the full, plans didn't work out so well and i settled for my 3rd half marathon. and though it was my fastest time yet, i still don't plan on drinking and sleeping late the night before as 'preparation'!!

bedbug time...

- EZE