hot tub time machine

10 weeks, 5 days PB.

john cusack's latest tribute to 80's throwback movie is another reminder of how good things used to be. i'm going to be one of those fathers who start lectures with "back when i was growing up......" i guess i don't want to say how 'good' things used to be, but rather how much EASIER they were. u think computers simplify really our lives? i would have a great argument to say otherwise.

tomorrow i go back to work after my 2 1/2 week stint of taking care of calvin. i hear comments about how much of a 'stay at home dad' i am. truthfully i don't aspire to stay home to take care of children, but when i now look forward to how much time i WON'T be spending with him, it really is sad. after dropping him off at g.ma's place for the day, both HM and i are going to have 4-5 hours/night with him during the weekdays before putting him to bed. think about that - out of 120 hours we get around 20. during his most important stage of growing, we're going to see 1/6 of everything. and this doesn't even include the 2 feedings, bath, and nap that we have to squeeze in that time frame. my heart sinks at the though of it. for the most part, HM and i try to manage our time wisely.....at least i like to think so. i make lists and she follows routines. now that we've spent time with cal over the past 2 1/2 months, we wonder how much we're really going to miss him daily.

i think back at how my parents managed their time with my sister and i. working in hospitals, they were fortunate enough to work different shifts so that one of them was always with us during our infant years. as we grew older, they changed accordingly. unfortunately, this doesn't work for HM and i (at the moment at least) since both of us are working throughout the daytime. if someone can find a job for me as an insurance analyst from 7pm-7am... please inform me!

almost everyone i know has a fairly similar case. our parents worked their tails off, but seemed to have done it without the use of daycare or leaving us with others for a long time. and they do this so OUR lives can be better than theirs, right? sure we end up making more money, more stability, more success. but the sacrifice is that we become corporate. we all want 9-5 jobs with the weekends off. we also then sacrifice time with our own children. the question is.... is it worth it? i'm guessing that this is all part of every parent's worries.

HM had to option to take more time off for maternity leave than the alloted 2 months. the drawback was that she would have to make up that time after her expected completion of residency (also unpaid!). another Dr (with young children) recommended that she take the time off if she can afford it. there just aren't many opportunities to be with your children at such a young and tender age. HM may not have shown it, but i think she was really torn about doing so. i told her that i would support her either way. she ended up not taking more time. i mean... after 8 years of post graduate work, i'm sure she wanted out too. i don't blame her

i'm sure i'll look back at this time and be glad i took it off. i've seen him go from routinely crying at night to getting 6-7 hours of shuteye. now that's progress, folks!

i leave you with a photo that HM snapped of me after i was exhausted from him crying in my ears for 30 mins. of course, i don't recommend falling asleep with your baby in your arms, but i can't figure a better bonding time. :)

NFTW - be a model father in public. people expect moms to be good already. but dad's get so much more praise even for minor things. take advantage.

-EZE