hot tub time machine

10 weeks, 5 days PB.

john cusack's latest tribute to 80's throwback movie is another reminder of how good things used to be. i'm going to be one of those fathers who start lectures with "back when i was growing up......" i guess i don't want to say how 'good' things used to be, but rather how much EASIER they were. u think computers simplify really our lives? i would have a great argument to say otherwise.

tomorrow i go back to work after my 2 1/2 week stint of taking care of calvin. i hear comments about how much of a 'stay at home dad' i am. truthfully i don't aspire to stay home to take care of children, but when i now look forward to how much time i WON'T be spending with him, it really is sad. after dropping him off at g.ma's place for the day, both HM and i are going to have 4-5 hours/night with him during the weekdays before putting him to bed. think about that - out of 120 hours we get around 20. during his most important stage of growing, we're going to see 1/6 of everything. and this doesn't even include the 2 feedings, bath, and nap that we have to squeeze in that time frame. my heart sinks at the though of it. for the most part, HM and i try to manage our time wisely.....at least i like to think so. i make lists and she follows routines. now that we've spent time with cal over the past 2 1/2 months, we wonder how much we're really going to miss him daily.

i think back at how my parents managed their time with my sister and i. working in hospitals, they were fortunate enough to work different shifts so that one of them was always with us during our infant years. as we grew older, they changed accordingly. unfortunately, this doesn't work for HM and i (at the moment at least) since both of us are working throughout the daytime. if someone can find a job for me as an insurance analyst from 7pm-7am... please inform me!

almost everyone i know has a fairly similar case. our parents worked their tails off, but seemed to have done it without the use of daycare or leaving us with others for a long time. and they do this so OUR lives can be better than theirs, right? sure we end up making more money, more stability, more success. but the sacrifice is that we become corporate. we all want 9-5 jobs with the weekends off. we also then sacrifice time with our own children. the question is.... is it worth it? i'm guessing that this is all part of every parent's worries.

HM had to option to take more time off for maternity leave than the alloted 2 months. the drawback was that she would have to make up that time after her expected completion of residency (also unpaid!). another Dr (with young children) recommended that she take the time off if she can afford it. there just aren't many opportunities to be with your children at such a young and tender age. HM may not have shown it, but i think she was really torn about doing so. i told her that i would support her either way. she ended up not taking more time. i mean... after 8 years of post graduate work, i'm sure she wanted out too. i don't blame her

i'm sure i'll look back at this time and be glad i took it off. i've seen him go from routinely crying at night to getting 6-7 hours of shuteye. now that's progress, folks!

i leave you with a photo that HM snapped of me after i was exhausted from him crying in my ears for 30 mins. of course, i don't recommend falling asleep with your baby in your arms, but i can't figure a better bonding time. :)

NFTW - be a model father in public. people expect moms to be good already. but dad's get so much more praise even for minor things. take advantage.



home alone

8 wks, 6 days PB.

macaulay culkin's child acting career blew up with this 1990 film about a boy at christmas time being, well... left alone (duh!). even when i saw the movie back then, i still see the image of his young face up to now. i never feel like he's grown up, but damn...i'm actually older than he is! in truth, i ended up liking the sequel more than the original. yes, it's sad i liked these movies.

last night, HM had to work her first overnight shift since coming back from maternity leave. normally, this isn't such a big deal as she's used to working call nights on occasion. but since having calvin, it would mark the longest she would be without seeing him. it also leaves me by myself with him for 24 hrs. oh, the damage, right?!

here's a picture of what HM saw when she came home:
poor guy scratched his forehead quite nicely. i know this is a fairly common thing amongst babies, but i still had to deal with HM's dirty looks. cal wasn't too thrilled about it either.

so anyways, PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE! in my night alone, i managed to have calvin sleep for 7 hrs straight! and this does not include him crying for 2 or 3 hours beforehand. we got him to average 4-5 hrs before, but with A LOT of coaxing and crying struggles (both he and i!). i think we are onto something special. our hard work to getting him good sleep balanced with proper eating is finally panning out. his daytimes hours are perfectly blended into an eat, play, sleep cycle that repeats until nighttime. babies apparently are repetitive creatures just like the rest of us!

i know it's only been 2 months, but like i said before...it seems like FOREVER. a baby that brings out it's colic personality at 10pm doesn't bode well for anyone. hopefully now he'll get some good growth spurts in!

speaking of growing - cal had his 2 month visit with the pediatrician today. HM and i were extremely impressed with him. not only was he in great spirits the whole time, but he also took 3 vaccination shots without struggle! he winced and let out a quick cry during the process, but a few seconds later, he was fine. a snapshot of his stats:

as you can see, the little chunker IS growing, but not necessarily in the right direction. 4th percentile in height. sorry buddy, even the doc said you were probably never going to be like yao ming (like that?!). though your parents are contributing that nice large melon you have! hmm...

let's not forget the token naked baby picture (i'm too lazy to blur out his junk) 10.8 lbs!:
he is so going to hate me when he gets older.

the doc also told me to start using a little vaseline in his skin creases where friction occurs that don't get much exposure. areas like the armpits, thigh/hip connection, etc. after seeing slight redness in those areas, i agreed to do so. i can't imagine what severely dirty, obese people do to their areas they can't reach themselves (maybe i just don't want to know).

so that's a recent update of what's going on. i plan on backtracking some memories over the past 8 weeks and blog about what happened. it seems like so much occurred over that time frame that i can't let it die just in my mind!

anyways...more pictures (because everyone LOVES to see baby pictures, right?!):

surprise wake up in the afternoon. apparently - 'daddy' is a wiener dog:

secretly DJing while asleep (like it, dark mark?!)

getting measured....notice the pants rolled up. just like daddy having his pants hemmed!

with dad:

and mom:

i wonder if the dr's office think we are "stupid japanese tourists taking pictures all the time"?!




8 wks, 2 days PB.

earlier today, Cal and i watched this masterpiece of filmmaking. good parenting, right? i can't believe it's been 15 yrs since coming out. i remember watching it for the first time when it hit the dollar cinema....probably because they never checked for age. TS had to be the only white guy in the whole theater, but no one noticed. the place went nuts when this scene came on. also my favorite.

well, this post is nothing more than a test post to display a video. i haven't uploaded any to this point; most likely due to a few factors. i'm not very tech savvy..and i'm lazy to learn. i can feel dark mark's disappoinment. here goes:

i just previewed the link and looks like it's working. success! i'm still learning on how to change/format video, titles, etc. haha... very sad. and yes, i know the title of the vid says 007. interesting enough, we also watched Goldeneye today.

anyways, hope you enjoy this early video of calvin. everyone always tells us to cherish these moments. TGIF for real!



daddy day camp

8 wks PB.

the face only a parent could love:

my apologies for the lack of posts. calvin has been a handful on his first time parents and i had to put 110% effort into balancing going back to work and life at home. and since i'm not much of a writer, it takes me awhile to muster up good posting material.

first off...calvin is doing well. his parents? not so much. i can't imagine how scared he would be if he really knew about our rookie questions and mistakes. in any case, there should be plenty of future material for me to blog about. since HM only had 2 months of maternity leave (she could have taken more unpaid...along with extending her residency), we decided it would be best if we could get close to 3 months with him before his daily trip to my parents house. i took two weeks of vacation which happens to encompass the thanksgiving holiday. funny how things work out.

and so.... today is HM's first day back at work since the day before delivery. it also marks the first day of taking care of the little guy by myself, hence the blog title of this post. (....interesting, i actually thought eddie murphy was the star of the film. go Cuba!)

it was an interesting day to say the least. calvin didn't sleep until close to 2am last night after a few hours of fussiness. and to go back a few weeks, we've attempted the "try anything that works" method and have come up with mixed results. HM borrowed this book and read it in 2 days. it basically puts your baby on a schedule, which we did have somewhat prior. but the book preaches it to you like clockwork. i told HM we'll try it out.

2 weeks ago, we started noticing some results of our militant schedule as calvin was sleeping for about 3 1/2 hrs, waking up to feed around 1-2am, and then sleep for another 3-3 1/2 hrs. i know it sounds sad, but getting 5-6 hrs of sleep is a GOOD night. i'm not able to run on fumes like i used to.

then last week (during a VERY busy workweek for me), something happened. calvin changed..... and turned into a monster. and not a cute monster like this. i contemplated naming some of these posts "twilight", "blade" or a type of vampire movie. the kid just wouldn't go to bed until 2-3am.... and i'm still not sure if he's only sleeping from pure exhaustion of crying or jerking around all night. even more puzzling is that he is PERFECTLY FINE during the day -- as i experienced first hand today. he eats, plays, sleeps on schedule every 3 hrs. clockwork. though we did notice that once the sun set (earlier now due to daylight savings), his mood changed. hmmm...could he be?!

HM came home a little early today with some good news that her rotation this month is an elective that isn't vital to her internist experience. her attending physician told her that she is free to leave, pump, or tend to calvin as needed. more help for me. awesomeness.

on a debbie downer note.... i would be lying if i told you that i'm the happiest guy in the world. there are times in the middle of the night that i absolutely hate the situation that i'm in. i mean, i'm blessed to have calvin, healthy and kicking. but your mind and body start to crack from sleep deprivation and wondering how bad you are f***ing things up. you question yourself, your spouse, what you are doing, and everyone else who has children. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT MORE OF THIS?!

you feel helplessly alone, yet every parent is more than willing to tell you a story. and even though the outcome of every story is different, most of them start out the same. "my baby was like _____.... and this is what we did". sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. gotta find out what's best for you, right?

1230 am and he's asleep. which means i better do the same. more to come...i promise.


below are some pictures from calvin's 'one month session' that HM and i thought would be fun to do. we basically borrowed DarkMark's camera and tried out our inner Anne Geddes impression. we should probably stick to our day jobs...

my personal fave... i might be a little biased.

changing this up a little bit....
NFTW (New Father Tip of the Week) -- don't bother worrying about when you and your spouse are going to start having relations again. get some sleep instead!