anger management

11 weeks, 4 days PB.

i've never seen the movie Anger Management starring adam sandler and jack nicholson, but the title perfectly described my thoughts as i drove home from work last week. growing up watching sandler has been mostly fun and laughs, though nicholson can pull some crazy faces as well. this one is a little more famous. nice one, jack!

anyways... earlier this week, a meeting at work had run a little late which meant i left in the heat of traffic time. going to pick up calvin at my parents then heading back home was going to be a major pain in the ass... but i anticipated it. what i didn't anticipate was THIS. yes, that tanker spill surely made my night. i spent almost 2 hours in standstill traffic while HM was upset at me because i forgot to bring home chicken salad. you could feel the snowball growing every minute.

during the drive, i was hollering and screaming; furiously glaring at car's brake lights that were 100 yrds ahead. but after about 30 mins, i realized the only person that was hearing it (besides myself) was calvin. i've told this to people before, but some find it hard to believe -- i have serious ROAD RAGE!! HM has mentioned it to me and i think i've toned it down quite a bit since being married. but sometimes in my 'alone' driving, the devil in me comes out. kinda sad really.

i've learned a lot from my parents and i don't doubt that calvin will do the same. i've had my slip ups with cursing in front of kids (sorry dark mark!), but now that i have my own, the caution signs are well in front of my own face. i just have to see them....and follow them. children will follow in their parents footsteps. i found a video that was interesting:

that last image of the beatdown was scary, right? i can only hope that once baby calvin starts to walk, he'll follow HM around and become a mild mannered physician who studies beyond the need of studying. though the nagging about the forgotten chicken salad wouldn't be missed. (love u, babe!). i think that most parents aspire to be good role models for their kids, but sometimes our emotions (and other bad drivers!) can get the best of us. i have to keep this in mind for the next 20 years.

too make up for bad times, i allowed cal some TV time. i recorded the victoria's secret fashion show (AT HM'S REQUEST - i promise) and we decided to watch as a family. i knew that calvin liked watching tv, but i grew bored of the shows content. c'mon people - u know that tall, american and brazilian models in underwear and angel's wings don't get my attention (i'm lying). my interest this year probably wasn't very strong since my favorite model wasn't there. screw you, orlando bloom! (i tried to find a worse picture but for some reason the internet loves him). meanwhile..... i decided to capture calvin's reaction to what he thought:

that's my son. he was truly angry because commercials interrupted his viewing time of alessandra, adriana, and erin. and if u think cal has learned to be a good actor at the tender age of 2 1/2 months, check out the follow up:

or it just might be that he's a katy perry fan and her banned video. it's for the kids!!!

NFTW (new father tip of the week) - don't forget the chicken salad. AND - don't hit other people in front of your child.



hot tub time machine

10 weeks, 5 days PB.

john cusack's latest tribute to 80's throwback movie is another reminder of how good things used to be. i'm going to be one of those fathers who start lectures with "back when i was growing up......" i guess i don't want to say how 'good' things used to be, but rather how much EASIER they were. u think computers simplify really our lives? i would have a great argument to say otherwise.

tomorrow i go back to work after my 2 1/2 week stint of taking care of calvin. i hear comments about how much of a 'stay at home dad' i am. truthfully i don't aspire to stay home to take care of children, but when i now look forward to how much time i WON'T be spending with him, it really is sad. after dropping him off at g.ma's place for the day, both HM and i are going to have 4-5 hours/night with him during the weekdays before putting him to bed. think about that - out of 120 hours we get around 20. during his most important stage of growing, we're going to see 1/6 of everything. and this doesn't even include the 2 feedings, bath, and nap that we have to squeeze in that time frame. my heart sinks at the though of it. for the most part, HM and i try to manage our time wisely.....at least i like to think so. i make lists and she follows routines. now that we've spent time with cal over the past 2 1/2 months, we wonder how much we're really going to miss him daily.

i think back at how my parents managed their time with my sister and i. working in hospitals, they were fortunate enough to work different shifts so that one of them was always with us during our infant years. as we grew older, they changed accordingly. unfortunately, this doesn't work for HM and i (at the moment at least) since both of us are working throughout the daytime. if someone can find a job for me as an insurance analyst from 7pm-7am... please inform me!

almost everyone i know has a fairly similar case. our parents worked their tails off, but seemed to have done it without the use of daycare or leaving us with others for a long time. and they do this so OUR lives can be better than theirs, right? sure we end up making more money, more stability, more success. but the sacrifice is that we become corporate. we all want 9-5 jobs with the weekends off. we also then sacrifice time with our own children. the question is.... is it worth it? i'm guessing that this is all part of every parent's worries.

HM had to option to take more time off for maternity leave than the alloted 2 months. the drawback was that she would have to make up that time after her expected completion of residency (also unpaid!). another Dr (with young children) recommended that she take the time off if she can afford it. there just aren't many opportunities to be with your children at such a young and tender age. HM may not have shown it, but i think she was really torn about doing so. i told her that i would support her either way. she ended up not taking more time. i mean... after 8 years of post graduate work, i'm sure she wanted out too. i don't blame her

i'm sure i'll look back at this time and be glad i took it off. i've seen him go from routinely crying at night to getting 6-7 hours of shuteye. now that's progress, folks!

i leave you with a photo that HM snapped of me after i was exhausted from him crying in my ears for 30 mins. of course, i don't recommend falling asleep with your baby in your arms, but i can't figure a better bonding time. :)

NFTW - be a model father in public. people expect moms to be good already. but dad's get so much more praise even for minor things. take advantage.



home alone

8 wks, 6 days PB.

macaulay culkin's child acting career blew up with this 1990 film about a boy at christmas time being, well... left alone (duh!). even when i saw the movie back then, i still see the image of his young face up to now. i never feel like he's grown up, but damn...i'm actually older than he is! in truth, i ended up liking the sequel more than the original. yes, it's sad i liked these movies.

last night, HM had to work her first overnight shift since coming back from maternity leave. normally, this isn't such a big deal as she's used to working call nights on occasion. but since having calvin, it would mark the longest she would be without seeing him. it also leaves me by myself with him for 24 hrs. oh, the damage, right?!

here's a picture of what HM saw when she came home:
poor guy scratched his forehead quite nicely. i know this is a fairly common thing amongst babies, but i still had to deal with HM's dirty looks. cal wasn't too thrilled about it either.

so anyways, PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE! in my night alone, i managed to have calvin sleep for 7 hrs straight! and this does not include him crying for 2 or 3 hours beforehand. we got him to average 4-5 hrs before, but with A LOT of coaxing and crying struggles (both he and i!). i think we are onto something special. our hard work to getting him good sleep balanced with proper eating is finally panning out. his daytimes hours are perfectly blended into an eat, play, sleep cycle that repeats until nighttime. babies apparently are repetitive creatures just like the rest of us!

i know it's only been 2 months, but like i said before...it seems like FOREVER. a baby that brings out it's colic personality at 10pm doesn't bode well for anyone. hopefully now he'll get some good growth spurts in!

speaking of growing - cal had his 2 month visit with the pediatrician today. HM and i were extremely impressed with him. not only was he in great spirits the whole time, but he also took 3 vaccination shots without struggle! he winced and let out a quick cry during the process, but a few seconds later, he was fine. a snapshot of his stats:

as you can see, the little chunker IS growing, but not necessarily in the right direction. 4th percentile in height. sorry buddy, even the doc said you were probably never going to be like yao ming (like that?!). though your parents are contributing that nice large melon you have! hmm...

let's not forget the token naked baby picture (i'm too lazy to blur out his junk) 10.8 lbs!:
he is so going to hate me when he gets older.

the doc also told me to start using a little vaseline in his skin creases where friction occurs that don't get much exposure. areas like the armpits, thigh/hip connection, etc. after seeing slight redness in those areas, i agreed to do so. i can't imagine what severely dirty, obese people do to their areas they can't reach themselves (maybe i just don't want to know).

so that's a recent update of what's going on. i plan on backtracking some memories over the past 8 weeks and blog about what happened. it seems like so much occurred over that time frame that i can't let it die just in my mind!

anyways...more pictures (because everyone LOVES to see baby pictures, right?!):

surprise wake up in the afternoon. apparently - 'daddy' is a wiener dog:

secretly DJing while asleep (like it, dark mark?!)

getting measured....notice the pants rolled up. just like daddy having his pants hemmed!

with dad:

and mom:

i wonder if the dr's office think we are "stupid japanese tourists taking pictures all the time"?!




8 wks, 2 days PB.

earlier today, Cal and i watched this masterpiece of filmmaking. good parenting, right? i can't believe it's been 15 yrs since coming out. i remember watching it for the first time when it hit the dollar cinema....probably because they never checked for age. TS had to be the only white guy in the whole theater, but no one noticed. the place went nuts when this scene came on. also my favorite.

well, this post is nothing more than a test post to display a video. i haven't uploaded any to this point; most likely due to a few factors. i'm not very tech savvy..and i'm lazy to learn. i can feel dark mark's disappoinment. here goes:

i just previewed the link and looks like it's working. success! i'm still learning on how to change/format video, titles, etc. haha... very sad. and yes, i know the title of the vid says 007. interesting enough, we also watched Goldeneye today.

anyways, hope you enjoy this early video of calvin. everyone always tells us to cherish these moments. TGIF for real!



daddy day camp

8 wks PB.

the face only a parent could love:

my apologies for the lack of posts. calvin has been a handful on his first time parents and i had to put 110% effort into balancing going back to work and life at home. and since i'm not much of a writer, it takes me awhile to muster up good posting material.

first off...calvin is doing well. his parents? not so much. i can't imagine how scared he would be if he really knew about our rookie questions and mistakes. in any case, there should be plenty of future material for me to blog about. since HM only had 2 months of maternity leave (she could have taken more unpaid...along with extending her residency), we decided it would be best if we could get close to 3 months with him before his daily trip to my parents house. i took two weeks of vacation which happens to encompass the thanksgiving holiday. funny how things work out.

and so.... today is HM's first day back at work since the day before delivery. it also marks the first day of taking care of the little guy by myself, hence the blog title of this post. (....interesting, i actually thought eddie murphy was the star of the film. go Cuba!)

it was an interesting day to say the least. calvin didn't sleep until close to 2am last night after a few hours of fussiness. and to go back a few weeks, we've attempted the "try anything that works" method and have come up with mixed results. HM borrowed this book and read it in 2 days. it basically puts your baby on a schedule, which we did have somewhat prior. but the book preaches it to you like clockwork. i told HM we'll try it out.

2 weeks ago, we started noticing some results of our militant schedule as calvin was sleeping for about 3 1/2 hrs, waking up to feed around 1-2am, and then sleep for another 3-3 1/2 hrs. i know it sounds sad, but getting 5-6 hrs of sleep is a GOOD night. i'm not able to run on fumes like i used to.

then last week (during a VERY busy workweek for me), something happened. calvin changed..... and turned into a monster. and not a cute monster like this. i contemplated naming some of these posts "twilight", "blade" or a type of vampire movie. the kid just wouldn't go to bed until 2-3am.... and i'm still not sure if he's only sleeping from pure exhaustion of crying or jerking around all night. even more puzzling is that he is PERFECTLY FINE during the day -- as i experienced first hand today. he eats, plays, sleeps on schedule every 3 hrs. clockwork. though we did notice that once the sun set (earlier now due to daylight savings), his mood changed. hmmm...could he be?!

HM came home a little early today with some good news that her rotation this month is an elective that isn't vital to her internist experience. her attending physician told her that she is free to leave, pump, or tend to calvin as needed. more help for me. awesomeness.

on a debbie downer note.... i would be lying if i told you that i'm the happiest guy in the world. there are times in the middle of the night that i absolutely hate the situation that i'm in. i mean, i'm blessed to have calvin, healthy and kicking. but your mind and body start to crack from sleep deprivation and wondering how bad you are f***ing things up. you question yourself, your spouse, what you are doing, and everyone else who has children. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT MORE OF THIS?!

you feel helplessly alone, yet every parent is more than willing to tell you a story. and even though the outcome of every story is different, most of them start out the same. "my baby was like _____.... and this is what we did". sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. gotta find out what's best for you, right?

1230 am and he's asleep. which means i better do the same. more to come...i promise.


below are some pictures from calvin's 'one month session' that HM and i thought would be fun to do. we basically borrowed DarkMark's camera and tried out our inner Anne Geddes impression. we should probably stick to our day jobs...

my personal fave... i might be a little biased.

changing this up a little bit....
NFTW (New Father Tip of the Week) -- don't bother worrying about when you and your spouse are going to start having relations again. get some sleep instead!



the hand that rocks the cradle

3 wks, 3 days PB.

when this movie came out in the early 90's, rebecca de mornay made one scary ass nanny. it makes you wonder how hollywood comes up with this stuff. the last act of the movie is forever in my head. crazy bitch!

it's 9pm on a saturday night and i'm sitting on the couch with calvin sleeping away next to me. i just finished watching the movie noted above and a thought crossed my mind. HM and i have never seriously discussed hiring a nanny. i'm sure if a situation called for it, we would consider the idea.

as i mentioned in my last post, everything we do now has to be planned with or around the newborn. HM is on her way home from the greek festival with our friends KH/YMK. we make it a tradition to go the festival yearly, but obviously this time around it wasn't so easy for both us to go. toward the end of the week, KH offered bring some of the greek food over to us, but instead i asked if they could take HM out for a few hours. they agreed as long as they got to hang out with cal for a little while.

this past week i went back to work and i'm not going to lie -- it's been one of the toughest weeks ever. my first day back, i only had 2 1/2 hrs of sleep. and since i hadn't done any physical activity in 3 weeks, i decided to run during my lunch break. BIG MISTAKE. after 1pm, my eyes were bloodshoot and i was sweating in my 70 degree office. the rest of the week got a little better for me, but i seriously missed the little guy. i should suggest 3 month paternity leave to my company..... aren't we all about equality?!

unfortunately i can't say HM was as fortunate as i. she had an infection resurface, her milk production was lower than anticipated, and calvin was raising hell during the daytime hours. i would receive texts throughout the day as she counted the hours until i came home. as i walked through the door, she would hand him over to me with a quickness. her disheveled appearance was enough to make me realize that she needed to get out. it didn't help that the weather had been perfect for two weeks (in houston, at least) and she had been inside 98% of the time.

since this blog is supposed to be from a first time father's point of view - here is my Father Tip of the Week (FTW):

-- in the first few weeks of birth, mothers will become attached to the child and never want to leave him/her. i recommend letting mom out for a few hours while you agree to take care of the baby. she can shop, go out with friends, eat, or just simply read a book. whatever a father can do to make a new mom feel whole every now and then will yield some serious return on investment in the long run. stressed mom + stressed baby = bad news for dad.

time to put the kiddo to bed.


two weeks notice

15 days PB.

i don't know what it is about hugh grant that makes him such a likeable guy. though this movie isn't his best work, i think it's the english accent that give him the upper hand. one flick that i seem to catch myself watching is notting hill. but really, the only thing that i can truly remember him is for this mug shot while getting caught with this beauty. how could do this to HER, hugh?!! you had it made...

anyways, it's now been two weeks since the arrival of little calvin. i must say that the past fortnight has felt months have past. so much high and low emotions have come and gone in such a short time, it's crazy to explain...but i'll try.

first topic: the birth. i initially thought i would be sickened by the sight of a bloody/slimy baby coming out of my wife. and even though the whole "pushing" process took 45 minutes, everything went by so fast. i didn't even have enough time to be grossed out, let alone think about anything else other than labor coaching HM. by the time calvin arrived - he was wiped down, i yelled out "it's a boy!", i cut the cord, and within seconds he was laying on HM's chest. we looked at each other, then at our creation. i know there were 7 other people talking in the delivery room, but at that moment, we heard and saw nothing but calvin.

second topic: the first night. our excitement turned into frustration within the next 12-16 hrs as calvin made sure that we would get as little sleep as possible within 48 hrs. HM was suprisingly able to get up and walk around already (trooper!), so i'm lucky she was able to assist with his fussiness. i could not help but feel horrible for any single mother that had to endure what we had gone through without someone else.

third topic: ICU visit. after we were discharged two days after delivery, we were so happy to bring calvin home. we had everything as planned. the house was cleaned, the dog was at the kennel, and his crib sheets were crease-free awaiting his arrival. unfortunately, his homecoming was cut short to one night as we had to check him into TCH's ICU unit for high biliruben. the experience was haunting, even for someone like me who is fairly comfortable with hospital terminology and procedure. we had to option to go home (since we live so close), but i told HM i couldn't stand the thought of leaving him overnight. we were prepped to sleep bedside...in very uncomfortable conditions, i should add. fortunately, the nursing staff was able to get us on the list at the ronald mcdonald house at TCH. we spent a very long two days and nights at the hospital waiting for everything to level out. it was great communication time b/w HM and i. if anything, it helped HM and i grow stronger together as a couple and family. as new parents, we couldn't ask for anything more.

fourth topic: finally home. as i mentioned before, the past 14 days have felt like an eternity. when you look at things in perspective, the time is nothing. we know that we're not one of the 'lucky' couples whose baby likes to sleep through the night. in fact, calvin is the opposite. after 10pm, he's a night owl....just like his dad. HM warned me that he would kick in the womb before bedtime.

one of our worries was how our dog would react to the baby. we read horror stories of family pets not getting along with newborns. we were lucky that peanut greated cal with a questionable sniff, but had a happy wagging tail. the late night crying during diaper changes gets him a little spooked at times.

fifth topic: some things i've learned so far...
- though it's been told to me many times before.... NO ONE really teaches you how to be a parent. you just do it. there are books, the internet, friends and family.... but when your baby is wailing at 330am and you don't know why.... you basically try and learn anything and everything you can quiet him (except shaking of course!).

- you learn how to operate with one arm. toting around an infant while doing laundry, brushing your teeth, or typing this blog all becomes second nature.

- you find that late night television and DVR are your best friends.

- calvin likes to poop AFTER you change them.

- pediatricians HAVE to be positive. having to deal with sleep-deprived parents and crying children all day takes a special skill.

- i knew life was going to change.... but u never think about the MINOR things. example - you can't shower or use the restroom without making sure the baby is asleep or someone is watching him.

- patience. its what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

....sorry, got to cut this short - little cal finally fell asleep. and any parent knows: YOU SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS.



family man

4 days PB (post birth).
sorry for the lack of updates...obviously there is a lot of stuff going on.

in the last few days, i went from being a happy husband who got little sleep to a proud papa who gets no sleep. i had already been up for 18 hrs before calvin was born and have since averaged less than 3 hrs of intermittent shuteye per night. this was too be expected right?

to be fair and honest, we're still at the hospital. only this time it is not where calvin was delivered, but rather at texas childrens. little cal was admitted less than 24 hrs after he came home due to appearing jaundice and having higher than normal bilirubin. this is fairly common in infants...especially ones with asian heritage.

needless to say, with having to stay at the hospital and going with HM to feed/visit calvin while in his incubator, there seems to be very little time to do much else.... let alone sleep. rather than to go into detail, i'll put it into another picture story (since everyone just wants to see pictures anyway). here is what i call "a series of firsts...." for baby calvin:

first moment outside the womb: after visiting mom's chest briefly, you can see he really wanted to stretch out! weighing in at 6 lbs, 9 oz, HM and i were pleasantly surprised that we produced a good sized kid!

first trip: by wheelchair, then elevator - from delivery room to hospital bedroom. there's no place he's rather be than right next to momma. he and i share the same feeling.

first bath: he hated it, but it was probably more so the fact that it was cold. his full head of hair needed almost a whole bottle of the travel sized shampoo!

first visitor: NT came bearing gifts for baby c less about 6 hrs post birth. being the suave guy that he is, calvin decided to use the 'play it cool' approach. result: she wouldn't let him go. you go, boy!

first visit from grandparents: the M's keep marching! my parents seemed excited to know the bloodlines and family name would continue (though they never really said it). i guess it's pride more than anything. for me, i was just glad to finally meet the little booger.

first kiss goodnight from dad: this was the only time i made close contact with him in the first day because of.......

.....my slight lingering cough. this is the first time calvin slept in my arms. HM snatched this pic of me before she had to feed him in the middle of the night. he was irritated by laying in the crib, so i took the opportunity to get some father/son bonding time. don't clown the mask... it has been used at much needed times in the past.

first gangsta pose: during feeding, baby cal was messing with his head gear. the result is what you see below. he managed to pull down his cap, then fall asleep within a minute. i guess he knew it would provide two useful outcomes: covering his eyes from light...and one darn cute looking picture.

first time home and in his crib: if we are comparing the ratio of his size to the mattress, the kid has one super sized king bed! lucky guy.... i still have to share a full with HM!

first time to pediatrician (the next morning): losing weight as expected for newborns, baby c weighed in a little over 5 lbs. he was starting to lose hydration...

first time being pricked for blood: this was one of many times his blood was drawn. i felt so bad for him when he screamed in pain, though i thought his feet were too cute to pass up on a picture.

first time admitted to the ER: the following image appears scarier than it really is - this is the incubator that little calvin has to stay in (and where he currently is as i type). i'll write a separate blog about the journey we've taken as he received treament here. i know it looks really bad, but i assure you it's not a harsh therapy.

see what i mean? it's almost like he's sunbathing under UV light (which, in truth, he actually is doing). he came prepared and brought his beach sandals and shades!



the lion king

the newest addition has arrived....

Welcome Baby Calvin!
born on 9/15/2010 at 12:10pm; 6 lbs 9oz, 18 1/2 inches long
i'm so very proud of HM on her delivery. momma and baby are doing fine. dad is doing ok too (no crying!)...
thank you all for your thoughts and well wishes. we are resting for a bit and will update more later.
we are so happy to be parents!!

sleepless in seattle

40 weeks, 3 days. LIVE BLOG (please excuse any typos)

*change of plans*

4:16 am - it looks like baby c/z has plans. after an anticipated delivery date this past sunday, HM and i are now at the hospital. i'm sitting next to her as she squeezes my hand every 4 minutes when the contractions hit. i've never witnessed her in so much physical pain. it is hard for me to watch.

when we watched wall e last night, HM mentioned she started to have weird feelings. at 1130pm, we decided to get ready for bed and a 1/2 hour later she was writhing in pain. she suggested we get ready for bed so we can get some rest. after midnight, she was having contractions close to 10 minutes apart....a surprise to us since she hasn't had any yet.

our scheduled induction tomorrow has now changed into a highly probable labor and delivery today. she is now hooked up with some pain meds and 4cm's dilated. the oncall physician has been notified and now we're waiting. poor HM is tired and sleepy. our little buddy wants out.

time is passing fast, but i'm also holding HM's hand when she calls me over .... more to come soon.

end post.

5:55 am - i'm in the waiting room now as HM receives her epidural. the IV meds that she took made her even more sleepy but at least reduced some of the pain. she still can squeeze the heck out of my hand though!

an english family is in the room with me...husband just walks in to his parents and in laws -- "pretty good sized baby. born at 5:17am. 18 inches, 6 lbs 7 oz.". these people are quite big and tall. maybe his wife is tiny. if my baby comes out bigger than theirs, then maybe there is hope of a future basketball star in the family, eh? oh who am i kidding...

the doctors don't allow family in the room during the epidural process...not sure why. maybe it's cuz crazy husbands would cause trouble. i hope HM is doing ok. only a few more minutes till i can go see her....

end post.

7:43am - back in the room w/HM. epidural is set and the waiting game has begun. we've tried to take a nap for the last hour or so, but both of us are secretly sitting awake in silence. though our minds and and bodies are exhausted, our hearts are pounding with anticipation. who can sleep now?

Dr. D just came in suggested she 'manually breaks the water' to speed up the process. HM agreed to do so and 3 mins later, Dr. D is out the door to handle a c-section. it appears she has 4 of her own patients who checked in last night. HM always told me that the life of an OB-GYN is not one that she could handle. the hours alone are so demanding and the malpractice insurance can be as much as a BMW 7 series.

we had planned to have a relaxing day handling some errands, but i think we are in for a better treat. i could be a dad by my next update!

end post.

9:08am - time to eat.

i've always wondered why the texas medical center (TMC) hospitals have mcdonalds as their main restaurant of choice. sure, it's fast food and easy, but doesn't it somewhat contradict what hospitals are here for -- to prolong life? the obvious choice would be subway. i mean..look at jared fogle for goodness sakes! to be fair, there are other cafe's/restaurants and even some other nice choices for quick eats. but you have to give props to the golden arches for sapping up all the prime retail space. kinda reminds me of the humans in wall e.

speaking of eating, i don't believe i ever mentioned the goal i set for myself at the beginning of this journey. my goal was to be exactly the same weight i was the day we confirmed that HM was pregnant. initial weight: 151lbs. today's weight: 152.5.

i know it doesn't sound like much, but in my eyes i technically still failed. i didn't want to be part of the 'sympathy weight/pains/gains' conversation. oh well, as long as my belly is healthy, right? oops.

......progress has slowed down a bit. i know it's past 9am and we've been here since 230, but it just doesn't seem like it. i will admit, that there is a lot more waiting around than i expected. i know people told me before, but you don't really realize it until it happens in your shoes. when someone says, "man, we were waiting at the hospital for a whole day." -- it doesn't effect me much. i've been here for 7 hrs and i'm restless, cranky, and still avoiding to use the hospital restroom. i'm a little edgy about stuff like that.

still waiting for you baby calvin or zoey.....

end post.

10:20am - HM is around 9cm's dilated. Dr. D is in her 2nd c section for the morning. it looks like we're gonna start pushing this baby out...literally. the nurse informed us that everything is going well. baby's heartrate is good, head down, and it might even be an easier-than-anticipated delivery.

life is about to change in the best way.....

end post.


the postman

40 weeks, 1 day. one day post due.

kevin costner's 1997 film was a disaster to his career. after big roles in the untouchables, bull durham, and field of dreams, he was building a resume of a superstar. then came films like waterworld, postman, and 3000 miles to graceland (nice chops there buddy!). there have been a few movies that were supposed to be 'late comebacks' to resurrect his career, but in my opinion....the guy is pretty much done. that's too bad...cuz i really liked him as frank farmer in the bodyguard.

we met with Dr. D today and she gave us options on what we want to do. HM's situation is favorable to where we have a choice to wait or induce. the benefit to waiting is having the baby naturally and lower c-section percetages. the detriment would be risk of infection which could lead to stillbirth which increases progressively post 41 weeks. given that there really isn't any growth benefit in the womb for the baby now, we opted to wait a few days and plan induce later this week. baby c/z could make an appearance at anytime b/w now and then, but HM doesn't feel like much has changed, so we're not holding our breath.

being the trooper that she is, HM is still going to work a little bit and take a day off later so we can run a few errands to prepare. i guess another benefit to inducing is knowing when we're going to be at the hospital. i secretly wanted the whole 'rush experience' we see in movies, but i also don't want to miss the actual birth. given the choice, i think we're taking the safer bet.

we're going to try to get some good sleep since induction could be as early as 5:30am, but who can sleep during a time like this? i'm already a late sleeper, but now knowing that my child is coming is only going to make my nights much more restless. fortunately, i can't say the same for my lovely wife...

this is a bigger, brighter, and better picture than from a few nights ago... sweet dreams babe!


the 40 year old virgin

40 weeks - due date. baby has not arrived yet!

in the movie the 40 year old virgin, steve carell's character is put on the spot to speak about having sex with a woman - something he's never done before at that point. he was hilariously clueless.

during the whole pregnancy process, i've felt clueless about a lot of things. what kind of stroller to buy, what receiving blankets are, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop....just to name a few.

a few months ago, i asked HM about why it's said that pregnancy takes '9 months', but the due date is set at 40 weeks (which would be around 10 months)? this is something i know that i would have never asked unless having go through this experience. anyways - according to the 'pregnancy pinwheel' - which i like to call it - the starting date is considered as the 'first day of a woman's last period'. ok folks, start your thinking hats.... now (see pic below).

sooooo, while conception typically happens around the 2nd - 3rd week, and full term is considered to be at 37 weeks.... it averages around the 36 week/9 month mark? this is the only reasoning i could come up with. oi... this would be so much easier to figure out with one night stands, right?

and so it's been a week since my countdown to due date started and nothing eventful has happened the last 7 days. HM and i have had some quality time together (which i've thoroughly enjoyed), but now we're getting a little restless. to put it simple - WE WANT THE BABY OUT! we have an early appt with Dr. D tomorrow and probably have discussions about inducing. not the ideal, but most likely safer. the good thing about going this route is that we DO know a general time to expect labor/delivery. i'm getting even more antsy as i type. i'm thinking of doing a live blog update while waiting around in the hospital. HM thought it was a neat idea for the 5 of you that are reading. we'll see how it goes.

on a side note, i'm back to training for the houston half marathon in january. i decided that training for a full marathon while having my first newborn probably wasn't going to work out. i also don't know if HM would be working and i'm aiming for her to be there when i cross the finish line if i ever complete the full 26.2 miles. last year when i signed up for the full, plans didn't work out so well and i settled for my 3rd half marathon. and though it was my fastest time yet, i still don't plan on drinking and sleeping late the night before as 'preparation'!!

bedbug time...


she's the one

39 weeks, 6 days.

i don't really remember much about this movie other than the fact that jennifer aniston was a main character. i'm using it just for the title again...

i would like to dedicate this post to my lovely wife and soon to be new mother, HM. first off, i want to wish her a happy bday. 9 yrs ago tonight, we sat in a restaurant eating a quiet dinner after a very tragic morning. our relationship was still in its infant stages as we were entering young adulthood. both of us in college, HM was just starting her journey to becoming a physician..... a path set from high school that will carry until next summer. i, on the other hand, was a nomad searching for my own way amongst a sea of students. from pre-pharmacy to physical therapist to almost not getting into business school (but i did!) - it took me 5 1/2 yrs to obtain the college degree that i promised my parents i would complete.

the story of HM begins from no better place than houston, texas. born and raised in the space city by her mother and grandmother, she didn't exactly live in the nicest part of town. some would have considered her pauper, but she would never admit it was THAT bad. she attended a magnet high school which basically was the spark that brought her to where she is now. she has always excelled as a student and i don't doubt that she will become a great doctor. i'm proud of her in so many ways that i can't even explain the feeling. HM is THE 'american dream'.... a hard working, dedicated, and motivated person that strives to better their future given the hand that she was dealt with. not only has she succeeded in doing so already, but she also chose a career that assists in helping others to get better as well. how many of us can really say that? me purchasing corporate insurance for an energy company has its perks (free coffee!), but "saving 15% on car insurance by switching to geico" doesn't compare to prolonging someone's life.

i don't have repeat the story of us, but i do want to say that there is absolutely nothing that i adore more than make her happy. tomorrow will mark the 40th week that she's carried our child in utero. she changed to a healthier diet and sleep schedule to accommodate the baby, but she never held back on anything else. she remained committed to providing the best care to her patients. she made time to keep in touch with friends -- something i think we all can lose sight on when were focused on other things. she held up on her deal to be my loving wife and listened to my boring business insurance stories. she pretended to be interested about my fantasy football draft. best of all, she didn't did argue with me over bed space nor hog the blankets. i gots me a winner folks!

i've overheard people tell HM that she's lucky that she's had a fairly 'easy' pregnancy. in reality, i'm the one who is blessed. she never unleashed the 'wrath' that other husbands apparently get from pregnant wives who are emotional. she only once had a late night craving for food...which was easily satisfied by a quick trip to mickey D's for a $1 sundae. i squashed all other cravings by keeping ice cream readily stocked in the freezer.

as for the baby.... unless something happens tomorrow, we are slated to see the doctor on monday morning. at that time, we'll be given our options for induction, etc. even though we'd prefer for things to come naturally, HM and i can finally have peace of mind knowing that the pregnancy journey will end and the parenting phase will begin. it's been a great experience..... i can't thank HM enough for it. she's going to be an awesome mom.


some quick picture updates for preparation:

our storage is quite filled. over 25 boxes of stuff that we probably won't ever need again, but we're not good at giving stuff up! gotta make space for the baby, right?!

our refinished bathroom courtesy of New Generation Refinishing. i would post some before pictures, but they are a little scary. having to caulk and recaulk because of recurring mold SUCKS. this was not really in our initial prep planning, but we couldn't be happier with the outcome.

inexpensive stroller to hold us over until we get one of these bad boys. i hope the baby likes being outdoors!

the baby seat is installed and good to go. it's not leather, baby c/z will still be riding in nice comfort and support. thanks PP/NP for the gift!

and finally - the crib in our bedroom. this took 3 hrs to build due to the 90+ nuts/bolts/dowels that came in the box (along with the sliding drawer that finishing up in the picture). in the end, we're quite happy with the outcome. individually, the pieces weren't much to look at, but together they transformed into a sturdy and good looking product. thanks to YH/SD and to the trans (all three of them!).

2 fast 2 furious

39 weeks, 5 days. this is going to be a short post because my eyes are literally falling as i type.

we are now 2 days until due and HM is showing no indications of an upcoming labor. i guess this is good news for today since i wanted to avoid having an unknown on-call doc deliver our child.

HM and i were watching a movie earlier (do not see valentine's day.... it's really, really bad.) - and afterward we discussed how time has furiously passed by the last nine months. we knew this would happen once we got to this point. just like we'll be saying the same thing when our child is a yr older. and probably the same thing 10, 20, 30 yrs from now. where has the time gone?!

i do have to say that for me, the past week or so has truly been a blur. work doesn't even seem like work anymore. i get emails, phone calls and i answer them, but at the end of the day, i can't remember what exactly i did. anything and everything has been about the baby. and as most people will agree that it should be this way, i know that reality is that life will move forward and i'll still have to count beans just like anybody else. HM seems to be able to separate and concentrate easily. i guess that is something that a doc is trained to do. i'm not that talented.

for now, we sit and wait. well...tomorrow we will shop, eat and wait. since it's HM's bday, we'll hit up some stores for some last minute baby items. HM has not been comfortable buying things for herself since she can't even try stuff on at this point. i'm sure rapid use of our credit card will come soon after baby c/z arrives. we just have to sit and wait.

as for me...tonight will be one of the few nights i can catch up on sleep from this week. more of the same tomorrow.... i'm out.



rush hour 3

39 weeks, 4 days.

as HM sleeps behind me on the couch....

...i have been trying to mentally prepare myself for the delivery room experience. my coworker buddhaCC has been telling me - "it's crunch time".

it may sound funny, but reality is setting in that we are going to be parents within the next week or so. people have been asking for awhile now...'are you ready?' truthfully, there really isn't a right answer. i'm starting to see that everything up this point is part of the whole experience. sure, we are likely to go through this again with future children, but the first time is typically the most memorable.

the most common advice that i've been getting is to get my sleep now while i still can. and so i sit and write this as 1230am passes. i can't seem to get to bed at a decent hour, especially in the last week or so. meanwhile, HM has no problems sleeping at all. i guess that's a good thing since there are so many scary stories of women who can't get comfortable during their whole 3rd trimester. i'm lucky that i still even have my own bedspace on our full sized mattress. it's funny how we used to have nightly territorial battles before pregnancy, but it seems that HM has been happy with not moving at all. she doesn't even hog the blanket anymore!

with tomorrow being friday and the doc out of town, i'm hoping for a relaxing day for the both of us. why do i have a funny feeling that it won't be?! *crosses fingers*



four christmases

apparently i've been off on my calculations this whole time. our dr. appts have typically been on mondays which threw me off completely since our due date is on a sunday. i've been undercounting one day! so here goes my correction:

39 weeks, 3 days. four days until due.

HM and i saw the movie four christmases a few months ago by redbox rental. the plot consists of a couple who are happy being unmarried and they visit their families for christmas. each has divorced parents....thus, four separate place to visit. after a whole day of turmoil, they realize that they ARE indeed made for marriage! and that, folks, is how hollywood makes money.

it's no secret that i'm a fan of large families. if it were up to me, i'd have a baseball team of kids. of course that would require a lot of assistance, patience and $$$. my dad is 2nd out of 5 siblings. i've got plenty of cousins that i really don't know about since they are all in the philippines. HM has a few distant cousins, but no one truly close.

HM asked me today if i ever believed in santa claus when i was younger. i told her that my parents had squashed that notion early in my childhood. there were no 'gifts from santa' or cookies and milk left out on the table for the big guy to eat. she agreed her youth was similar. i don't know what would be worse for me - being 'that parent' who never gives his kid a gift from santa or actually being the one to tell them that they don't exist. maybe i'll get lucky and they'll research it on their own with the internet by that time. :)

BUT, for some reason, my parents did let me believe in the tooth fairy. it's amazing that molars and incisors can net profitability by sleeping on top of them. i was extremely happy when i had all of my wisdom teeth taken out...when i was 17.
that was a joke people!

sorry to cut this short, but in order to preserve my sanity, i need to get some shuteye. i leave you with a christmas memory that always brings out a smile to my face:

notice the concentration in his eyes while HM just lets him embarrass himself.

BABY UPDATE: HM and i had an appt today with the ob/gyn and she is now 2cm's dilated and 80% effaced - yeah, i had to look it up too. we had the option to induce tonight, but decided not to since everything was normal otherwise. we would rather let things take it's course than risk a higher chance of a C section. if baby c/z doesn't come tomorrow, i'm aiming for sometime early next week.... after the doc gets back from out of town and after the first weekend of nfl football. i'm SO sentimental, eh?