where's the motivation?

when i first came up with the idea of this blog, i was so excited that i actually made a list of topics/stories that i wanted to share. this is something i learned that writers do - they keep pen and paper with them at all times so they don't miss out on their current thoughts. well, i'm not really that type of person and even less organized. though i feel i have a great selective memory (oxymoron?), there is no way that i would be able to keep up with everything that's happened since the beginning of the year by memory alone.

now, i'm finding that having those initial thoughts written down are only a small part of completing my task. i lack motivation to start something. this 2nd post, for instance, has taken me 2 days to come back to even though i already have a template of thoughts to choose from. i've tried blogging before through social networking sites, but most of us know that fads come and go. i also started one last year for my own purpose of self motivation... but you can see for yourself that it didn't turn out so well ( i got injured, ok?!)

back to baby talk.....

officially, i believe today is 19 wks, 4 days. the countdown to delivery is well on its way. just to lay it out there - WE ARE NOT FINDING OUT THE SEX. i don't know why people get so mad about this. especially women. even more so, women with children. "ugh, you're one of THOSE people, huh?" -- i guess i am (it was mainly my choice to not find out, HM just agreed). personally, i feel the birth of a child is one of the most sacred events in a couple's life; it is also (not always for some) one of the most exciting times for anyone who is fortunate enough to experience. i think the anticipation of uncertainty and passing through 3 grueling trimesters together is what pregnancy is about....especially the first time. then, when you finally hear the voice that yells..."you have a boy!" or "it's a girl!" - it's not only rewarding, it's perfect. i can't wait to look into HM's eyes after that moment and realize all that hard work was all trivial in comparison. it's anyone's guess how i'm going to react - just as i didn't know when i said "i do". i'm sure that tears of joy aren't out of the question.

of course, this would all have to happen in the perfect world of delivering babies, right? wake up, water breaks, green lights all the way to hospital, lay down, epidural (fo' sho!), short labor, push, baby glides out, Dr gives a slap on the butt**, cut the cord, wash down the baby, shake hands with staff, and mosey on out. the anticipation of the perfect world. isn't that motivating enough?


**to the baby!

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